Fill Your Own Cup So You Can Serve Better: Next Level Dad Fitness

You can be great on calls and still be falling apart at home. That tension is what drove this conversation with Fernando Benitez, a Engineer Paramedic and the founder of Next Level Dad Fitness, a coaching program built for firefighter dads who want their strength, body, and mind back without turning life into another complicated project. We talk about the real goal most of us quietly want: waking up with energy, feeling proud again, and having something left to give when we walk through the front door. 

We get into the unglamorous stuff that actually moves the needle for first responder health: sleep deprivation, recovery as you hit your late 30s and 40s, inflammation from bad food choices, and the way chronic stress drives cortisol through the roof. Fernando explains how he starts with an assessment of habits, not just workouts, because shift work and life load punish overly detailed plans. The focus stays on simple systems you can follow daily so your fitness supports your job and your family, instead of stealing from both. 

Then we go deeper into identity and mental health. We talk about coming home as “cranky dad,” the pressure to be tough, and why raising your hand for therapy or counseling is strength, not weakness. Faith also plays a big role in this story, with scripture as an anchor against anxiety and shame and a reminder that you don’t have to carry everything alone. We wrap with some lighter rapid-fire questions, but the takeaway sticks: fill your own cup so you can serve better. 

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Transcript

Welcome And Road Trip Banter

SPEAKER_01 0:10

Fernando Benitez, said that right? Yes, sir. I'm bad at names, dude. Welcome to the podcast, man. Thank you for coming on. Thank you for having me. Yeah, you made it. I thought you might have been coming off duty, but you came all the way from where you live. I was like, dude, respect, appreciate that.

SPEAKER_00 0:23

Yeah, man. But I did, like I said, I have a little cheat. Put the uh wife's Tesla and auto drive for the hour and 45 minute drive. And I love it. Yeah, I love it. Which which Tesla do you guys have? It is the Model Y.

SPEAKER_02 0:39

Oh, yeah, dude.

SPEAKER_00 0:41

Model Y, the little guy. And man, initially she didn't like it. She's like, I don't want the EV. I gotta go charge. I can't just go and fuel up whenever I want to. But now with the self-drive, I don't think she's driven in months because of the self-drive. So it's a really nice feature.

SPEAKER_01 1:04

Well, dude, um, again, thank you for coming on the podcast and being here. I'm super uh pumped on this. Um, so dude, you are actually the founder of something pretty cool. I'll let you kind of introduce

What Next Level Dad Fitness Solves

SPEAKER_01 1:16

it.

SPEAKER_00 1:16

Yeah, so it is called Next Level Dad Fitness. And I'm basically coaching firefighters to get their strength, bodies, minds all back to a place uh that they can feel proud of, get their strength back. Um, all doing it just with simple systems that are easy, easy to follow, that we can just follow every single day. A lot of the times, as we age and as we uh get more years accumulated on the job, we start to overthink and then just life happens. And so many things come before us, our health, our wellness. And my mission is to help as many firefighters, firefighter dads mostly, because that's what I am, and to to really get back to filling their own cup. And through filling your own cup, you now are able to fill the cup of others instead of filling the cup of others via your empty cup because you've neglected yourself, because we have this internal belief that hey, if I just help out others and I put myself last, that is the uh that's the way to go. That's how I'm going to give the best of myself. When my my approach is no, you give yourself you give your family the best version of yourself if you fill your cup, if you are healthy, if you are rested, and you're now able to serve your family and serve your your community, serve your job, whatever occupation you have, or in my in this case it's uh first responder firefighters, you actually unlock so many different versions of yourself that are just you improve so much, and every every aspect of your life improves when you are able to fix your health.

SPEAKER_01 3:31

Yeah, you hit on actually a really good point of how are we supposed to serve and help others if we're running on empty. And how often are many of us running on empty who've been in this job 15, you know, 10 plus years, whatever it's gonna be. Yeah, um, that's a real thing. And especially I was reading you the stuff on your bio and everything, the sleep and not getting the rest and all the calls that we see and the stress that we're under. Eventually you run out. For me, I always notice it because it's empathy fatigue, yeah. Right? Where someone just died and you're like, cool, whatever. Uh, where do you guys want to get lunch? Yeah, yeah. The average person sees that, they're kind of like, dude, you guys are morbid. Yeah. So it's it's uh in next level fitness. What how do you do that? How do you get these? Is this just first responder specific, or do you do it for any dad, anybody?

SPEAKER_00 4:27

It is mostly geared towards first responders because of my experience. Uh now a combined 19 years. I spent five years uh working for the Compton Fire Department as an AO reserve firefighter, and 14 with the you know, out in um on the west side as a as a fireman. And all of those years have given me the experience and the what to do and what not to do, how to show up, how not to show up, not only for the job, but for more importantly, my family. So it's basically a system and a framework to follow within the program that I can easily do daily without overcomplicating it, not over overcomplicating health, wellness, fitness. It's a simple system that you can follow that'll get you right back on track. And to hit on the point of yeah, how can you serve others if you're burnt out? If you do not have or you can't even carry that empathy anymore. You're just running on fumes. Cortisol is through the roof for a lot of us. We are stressed out, anxious, depressed, and so we search for external things to mass that, to put that weight somewhere else. And a lot of the times it's alcohol, drugs, food. Food is a big one that isn't considered like a vice, but we see it, we see it firsthand. How if you don't watch the nutrition, if you don't watch the food and everything that you are intaking, your body will suffer. And through all of that, then you then you gain the weight, then the stress, then the hormones, and everything's just off.

Aging, Recovery, And Food Reality

SPEAKER_01 6:35

You know what? You know where I've noticed that a lot for myself is I've just turned 40. Yeah. Dog. Yeah, things change. I know. And it's not like I'm not saying I say this like I'm not saying I'm old, right? But there's a change that you just feel internally. And even from 35 to like 38, I could tell a little bit of difference. And then from 38 to now, I'm like, whoa, dude, my energy levels are way different. I used to run ultramarathons and cycle long distances and um even doing uh what you call trathons for a bit. So I've always been very physically active. And you surf too, right? Yeah, surf. Uh skydive with a fellow friend of ours, paraglides. So I'm very like, very active. Um, but what I have seen just with getting older is the recovery times way different. Yeah, way different. And what I eat, I can tell like truly matters with my recovery, even how I sleep, how I feel in my gut, my body, the inflammation. And so now I try to eat as clean as possible, just because I can feel it and I can totally tell. Like if I go, you know, we're coming back from camping, my wife and I, and my and my child or something, and we've been driving a long way. Oh, let's just stop and get something at McDonald's or or Carl's Jr. I'll never forget this. Before my daughter was born, and my wife and I we took our RV all the way up through Colorado. Okay, uh, so we we spent like two weeks and we came back down, we hit Moab, we went to what's it called, the Grand Canyon. It was super cool because she's never been to the Grand Canyon, and so we had a good time, but it's always fun, right? When you start out and you're going and doing your thing, right? But then coming home, right?

SPEAKER_00 8:14

How much longer? You look at like uh Orange County or wherever you live, oh 300 more miles. So then you start to do the time.

SPEAKER_01 8:24

And yeah, and I remember we drive what's funny because my wife is Vietnamese, right? Asian, she's first generation, and uh there'll be times I'm like, hey, I need you to drive, I'm tired. I'm gonna go lay down in the bed. And it's just funny because she's this little Asian girl driving, dude. And I'll lay down. I think, oh my god, I get kind of scared, I'll hit a bump and you fly off the bed. But it's fun, but we'll I remember I just said, Hey, I'm gonna stop and get this get a double Western bacon cheeseburger from Carl's.

SPEAKER_00 8:49

You know, I love Carl's Jr.

SPEAKER_01 8:51

Yes, yeah, and I haven't had one in years, yeah. And um I ate that burger and dude, it tasted so good. Yeah, right. And I will never forget I took a nap and I woke up, dude. I was so swollen. Yeah, my face, I looked like the hamburglar, dude, like putting my sandals on, felt super tired. I'm like, what happened? I used to eat this like no one's business. Yeah, so that's why I know I'm like, okay, things are changing a little bit, but not only just it's just like how I feel. I could tell like with the intake, what I drink, drinking more water, right? Not as much alcohol. I don't really drink that much anymore. Um, but all that to say, kind of going back on what you said, like getting our rest, getting our sleep, uh, fitness is very important, right? I mean, our body is a machine, it's not meant to just do nothing and sit around. And it truly is a preservation process, especially for us in the

Sleep Loss And Firehouse Burnout

SPEAKER_01 9:44

fire service. I mean, the lack of sleep that we get, uh, the things that we are exposed to. That, you know, when I was um, I did this assistant training officer spot for my department for for some time, and they put me in charge of the cancer program. And I would go to these symposiums, and I remember um talking about cancer prevention, which I'm sure your department does now. We have a whole decon, and you know, you're gonna take your stuff off. You don't go back in service until you take a cool shower, don't take a hot one, all that. And uh towards the end, they said, but you know what the number one carcinogen is? I'm like, oh, I wonder what they're just gonna say. Lack of sleep. Yeah, kills you, just destroys you, dude. Yeah, and that and what's our whole career? Even with the police officers working at night shift, yeah, right? Lack of sleep. Lack of sleep, yeah, it's so, so bad for you. So for me, now I really prioritize it. It's the discipline, right? Prioritizing making sure I'm going to bed on time and getting the right amount of sleep. I used to think staying up late was cool, right? As a kid. Yeah, even in my young 20s, right? And now yeah, but now I'm like, dude, the real flex is going to bed early, getting rest, and getting up early, getting your day started, go go work out. Uh, some people do meditation for me. I get up and I read uh my Bible. That's just kind of what I do now. Me too. I start my day out. Um, I want to start it on positive. I want my faith to in Jesus to be like at the front of everything I'm doing, especially being a father, because I laugh about this and I say it often. But when my daughter was born, she was like 19 months. Um, when she was born and I held her for the first time, like Fernando, that was the first time I felt like an adult. All these years working in the fire department, we you know, you buy a home, he do all this, but dude, as soon as I held my daughter, I'm like, whoa, dude, this is serious purpose. Yeah, yeah, it's it's a lot of purpose. So uh

Showing Up For Your Family

SPEAKER_01 11:38

in the next level fitness and what you do, is it are are people physically coming to you? Do you coach them online? Do you give them workouts? Um, how how does that work? Do you assess uh them and kind of ask them questions like what's your sleep patterns, weight, eating habits, all that?

SPEAKER_00 11:55

Oh, yeah. So you come in and you just do a small assessment and just kind of going over the habits because your habits will tell me a lot of why you're in a situation that you're in.

SPEAKER_01 12:10

Um you say situation, you're talking like their physical health, like physical health, or you're just not feeling how you want to feel.

SPEAKER_00 12:17

You don't necessarily have to be 50 pounds overweight, whatever. If you don't feel like you have the energy, well, as we age, that's the most important thing. Yeah, how do you feel? And you kind of touched on it here earlier when you eat the food, when you eat the double western. I used to, like I said, love Carl Jr. Moment. I used to, I grew up one exactly one block away from a Carlos Jr. And I would eat four famous stars. Four every other day, yeah. How we're how I was dude, I was a ball player, I was a linebacker. Oh okay, okay. It all makes sense now. I was 240 and I was just lifting all day long, but that was another life, yeah. So younger, younger me would do that and feel fine. But now, like you said, if I eat a double western right now, same thing it's gonna happen that happened to you is gonna happen to me. Feel swollen, feel sluggish, and I just will not feel my best. And for the people that I coach and the people that I'm looking to help, I just want you to number one, feel good because there's nothing better than getting up in the morning and just having energy, having just a life full of energy, a life to look forward to rather than waking up swollen, inflamed, negative, without purpose, and just kind of meandering through the day. So that's kind of number one. That the the first thing that we're gonna try to get to is okay, let's look at the habits and let's look at how these habits that you have currently are affecting you and why they're making you feel this way. It's not always about, hey man, I want to gain 25 pounds of muscle and just be ripped or have a six-pack. That's all well and good, but getting back to the point of I just want to feel good so that I can show up as my best for my family, for my community, and for the people that I serve at work. So that's number one. Um, going back to the point that you made where we're 35, 40, I just turned 40 this year, also.

SPEAKER_02 14:41

Hey, my man. Yeah, man.

SPEAKER_00 14:44

Halfway to many is what I say, dude. Yeah, man. Exactly. So do you do I want to show up for the next 40 to 50 years as the uh a shell of myself, or do I want to change the approach and maybe not so much be weight lifting, crazy numbers? Do I just want to make this now a longevity thing? And that's my approach because as we age, we have to recover. And a lot of the times we don't take that recovery serious. I know I didn't. I did not recover properly, I did not take the time to uh really heal myself in just many different ways, mentally, spiritually, and physically. It was just go, go, go, because we as firefighters have this mentality of let's go, let's do it. There's no nothing we can't handle because I just worked three days and every single thing we did, we handled and we did a great job. And I'm super uh happy about that and I take pride in that. But then when I now go and handle business at home, because my mood's all off, my cortisol's all high, I'm all stressed out and anxious because I would just switch. I'd be like this guy at work. Hey man, all good, high fiving, and then I would go to cranky dad, anxious husband, short and not the version of myself that I wanted to be. I'm like, why do I do that? That's you, dude.

SPEAKER_01 16:25

That boy, I yeah, I struggle with that, especially in my first marriage, we married once, but yeah, you be I I remember thinking about that. How am I giving my best at work, but I I give my family the second best? Yeah, and that shouldn't um it shouldn't be that way, right? Our family, you know, in my opinion, I do think that your our children, our family as a whole is our greatest gift. Yeah, you know, I I definitely lived for myself for a long time, was very selfish and did work all the overtime, get the multiple homes, build a bank, invest, and do that all that. And I remember thinking one day, like, dude, I have all this stuff, like, what does this even mean? Yeah, I'm still empty, I'm still, you know, like what is what am I doing? Right. And then, you know, after giving my life to the Lord and my wife, who did as well, putting our faith at the front and changing things, and um that that was still something that I struggled with. It was really hard because our job is very unique, right? It's very type A personality in you do need to know your craft, you need to know it very well, right? Because at any moment's notice, we could be on, you know, wintertime, swiftwater rescue to summer, we're on vegetation fires to the structure fire. Then now we're, you know, we got to do a high angle rescue off our ladder and this and that. And then we're working as paramedics, gotta remember all these protocols and the policies, yeah, and they change every stinking month, right? No, so dumb EMS update. Yeah, and I I like how where am I putting my time? What is the most important to me? And that's not to say when we go to work to not do our best, and it shouldn't be important. We whatever we do, we should give 100%. Um, because we're not only are we representing our fire department, representing ourselves or reputation, but to me, uh I think people know I'm a Christian now. It's like, well, I'm representing my faith. Like, I need to work hard and do well, but I have to change something in my private life as well. I need to change something mentally and spiritually to come home and make sure I'm giving my best to my family, just like I do at work with my brothers, sisters, and the people that I serve. How do I do that? And for me, it was like, I need to work less. I'm getting drained here. And some of that's out of our control, force hires, or some people call it mandatories, right? Um, but you know, when we retire or we retire medically, you're done, you're done. I mean, we people always want to leave a lineage in a history like the reality in most departments, okay. I do miss my small fire department that I came from. But you are just a number. Yeah. And, you know, someone still needs to sit in that seat when you're gone and they're gonna fill it with somebody else. You know, I can't take the money with me when I die. I can't take my accolades, promotions, uh, this podcast, none of it. But what I can take with me to the next life is my family for a fact. Making sure I I'm leading them correctly and introduce my children to the Lord and they need to make their own decision at some point. So that's why it's like, what am I doing here? What you know what, what, what, uh, what do I need to change to be better at home? Because you see it all the time, right? Our divorce rate in this career field is super high for whatever reasons, right? Whether it's in your control, out of your control choices, there's always two sides to a story. But how do we change that? How do we change that suicide is the number one killer of us now, which is terrible, right? For for the men and women, you know, that we serve with, we we give our all. We sacrifice a lot to be in this job. It gives us a lot. Yeah, it's provided a lot for our families, but the most of the public doesn't understand what it takes from us as well. And the things that we see and the violence that we see, and the being super tired all the time, and you know, coming home and making sure you're you're present, right? Because as a kid, I didn't my dad was a green beret, career green beret, right? My mom was a teacher, we didn't have much money. I didn't know. Me and my brothers, we didn't care, right? It was mom and dad, brothers. We had fun. We had a small 1400 square foot home in Lakewood. Like I loved it, right? We had fun camping, all this other stuff. The only thing that I remember and I I I cherish the most was the time spent when we went camping and doing things at home or going to the beach and surfing. That's what I remember is the time with my brothers and my sisters and my my dad and my mom. The time. So, what am I doing with my time when I come home? Am I laying down, sleeping all day because I'm tired? Which, granted, it's gonna happen. You're gonna have a long night, shift, whatever. Um, how's my attitude? You know, that's something I really worked on is when I'm tired. How do I keep? I need to make sure I still keep my attitude up because it's not my wife's fault or my children's fault that I'm tired from work. I chose to be in this career. I need to come home. And I always try to do this because I talked with my therapist and she really encouraged me on this years ago. When you come home, uh, when you get to the door, take a breath, put a smile on your face. Just even that in that act alone has changed how I come through the door. I'm like, I'm home now. This is my this is my little kingdom. This this is what I cherish the most. Be happy, this is a gift. And just even that little little part of gratitude when I come in and smile, it's changed a lot, you know. So it's I agree with you, man, that there what you're doing, I think, is super, super rad with next level fitness. And um this the what I want to kind of ask you is your thoughts on this.

Building Identity Beyond The Job

SPEAKER_01 21:34

Um do you think, because I have my own opinion on it, but do you think that not just being physically healthy and eating properly and getting your sleep, but do you think, at least for you, does your faith also play into that with like coming into your physical health, mental health? Does faith is that all intertwined together?

SPEAKER_00 21:53

Most definitely. Um, just a touch on the point before we move on. Yeah. Uh as far as Disconnecting when you get home through the door. So that's something that I do also. I just have this awareness of I'm home now. I I do it in the car as I'm driving in. I listen to audiobooks and I'll usually listen to something a little more uh thoughtful and thought-engaging. Dr. Wayne Dyer is one of my favorite authors, and I listen to a lot of his stuff. And that's one thing, but it's also you get challenged right away. I got three kiddos, dude, and they're active. So when I walk in the door, it's easy for me to be like, oh, I love my kids, I can't wait to see them. And then I see an absolute disaster when I walk in the door. Oh, yeah. Dude, I'm talking about shoes, pizza slices, uh clothes, underwear. And I'm like, what? So it's easy to talk about it, but dude, it is not that easy to apply it. Yeah, I agree. So I just told my teenager, I told you 10 times, I don't like when you oh gosh, I'm doing it. I'm literally doing it. I literally in the car thought I will disengage and I will be engaged with my family. And boom, that's the challenge, dude. That's the challenge. Yeah, so um, gosh, it's it's very, very easy, but sometimes it's hard to apply, but you gotta be aware, you gotta be conscious, you gotta constantly be, I guess, uh in your thoughts and aware of the things that you're saying because now I'm gonna send these kiddos off to school, and I just yelled at them. What kind of day am I preparing them for? That's a really good point, dude. Dad was just yelling, and I've done it, dude. I've done it. I just told you guys. So I really didn't disconnect. Yeah, I I told myself, yeah, I'm gonna disconnect. And then I just dropped them off at school. I love you guys, love you girls, kiss, and they're just looking at me like trust me, dude. It sucks. But then it's right when I close the door, I'm like, gosh, why did I do that?

SPEAKER_02 24:31

Man, so it's a work, it's a it's a it's a work in motion, right?

SPEAKER_01 24:36

It's practice. I mean, look, we're not gonna be perfect, yeah. We're perfect human beings. I I've done the it's I I love this, right? It's like we're um getting ready to go to church in the morning when I, at least when I'm off, like we're gonna have a good day, this and that, and we're driving, and someone caught me, hey motherfucker. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:52

It's like, oh man, why did I do that?

SPEAKER_01 24:54

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:54

It's it's a work, it's it's a work of progress.

SPEAKER_01 24:56

It's it's it's not easy. And I, you know, I've talked about this with my wife. I do believe, at least for men, us, the pressure on us to, you know, provide and do well, and but we're also thinking about our careers and promoting and training. And, you know, I got force hired here, and then I got to worry about am I being a good dad? Am I doing the right thing? And then also trying to feel yourself and make sure you're good as an individual. That's a lot. That's a it's a lot to to process and get down. And that's why I always try to tell people a lot. I've talked to there was a guy at work I was talking to who was struggling for a little bit, and uh his home life was starting to go downhill, and he was definitely um there's some anger there, something was going on. I'm like, hey dude, like let's let's get you some help. Let's let's figure this out because you don't want to uh you don't want your kids to hate you, you don't want to go through a divorce and this and that, because it's just not worth it, right? Let's get to the root of the problem of what what is getting you right now. And he ended up um, I told him, look, let's do some trades. I'll I'll I'll take four shifts for you. Take a couple weeks off and just relax. Took a couple weeks off, and he's like, dude, that was the best thing I ever did. Yeah, I got normal sleep, I got to hang up with my family, chatted with my wife. I encouraged him, like, hey, you know, why don't you call that, you know, the counseling team international that we get for free? Because they gave it to our whole families. And so I was like, you guys need to maybe some communication. My wife and I did it. We we called him, we went through uh counseling together, but then separately. And I really think that helped us a lot because we got to learn how we both process things. You get to see how what happened in this person's childhood or hear about it all the way up to issues you're maybe dealing with. And she gets to hear and see what you have dealt with, not just in your childhood, but also at work. Because I don't talk about stuff from work when I come home. I don't want my wife to have to hear or deal with that or think about the things that I've seen. And then she hears it, it's like, whoa, now I get it. Now I see why sometimes you come home, you're just kind of quiet and or need to go exercise. So for me, when I get off duty and I come home, we have it down like she uh takes the little kiddo to the Montessori school. And when I get home, it's immediately I'm going running, cycling, surfing, or if it's a really, really nice day, I'll meet a friend and go skydive. So usually it's like the first three hours, I gotta get some type of workout in that bilateral movement. And the next thing you know, that like weird stress level I had, I start coming back down to normal. It's like, okay, normal Tim's back here. Now we can, you know, I feel really good. She even says it when you come back from your long runs or your cycling, you always seem so happy, and I don't get it because you've been gone for hours. Yeah. I'm like, I just I need to be in my thoughts and be alone and just work it out for a second, you know?

SPEAKER_00 27:36

Yeah. And that's kind of touching on the point of the identity. You know, you touched on it a little bit. Uh the identity of a firefighter, the identity that you have at home, the identity that you have in your community or with your kids or whatever. What does that even mean? What like you have this identity of a firefighter, but what does that actually mean? And to me, it means that when your identity is only a firefighter, which is you work a 7296 and then you come home for one day, you're tired, you don't want to talk to anybody, you don't want to do anything with your kids, and then you go back for another three, and then you come back for one, and then you go back for a four. And now your identity to your family is dad the firefighter, not dad, the person that is present with me, that takes me to the park, that coaches me, that shows me how to ride a skateboard, how to do whatever, cook uh bake some cookies. Your identity is wrapped up in being a fireman because you do it 24-7. You do it five out of seven days a week. And so you're wrapped up in the identity of this firefighter. When you shift and you understand that, and you make the time to build the identity at home with your kids, that's what they remember. The identity of dad as my coach, who would go in the backyard, who'd play catch with me, who taught me how to ride a bike, who'd go uh to the park, that is the identity that you're building at home. And there's nothing wrong with being a firefighter or carrying the firefighter identity. But if that's all you are and that's the only identity that you carry to your family, dude, they don't care. They want to know the identity of dad, of coach, of husband, of community member, of active member in the church, of faith. Where is your identity with your faith? Are you teaching your kids the word? If that's important to you, because it is for me and for you also. The identity that, hey, like God, Jesus, all of these things, where's that identity of you? So it is a balance that we have to manage. It's not always easy because, like you said, it does, you know, the job does demand a lot from us, and you know, the classes and the forced overtime or the overtime that you that you willingly work. But that's what to me being uh uh carrying the identity of firefighter, that's when it goes just way, way to one side. So working on that, being aware of the identity at home, because this is what my kids will remember of me.

SPEAKER_01 30:48

100%. I wonder, do you think it's like I wonder if it's our culture that pushes that? Where and when I say pushes that, maybe it's even in any job, right? Because think about when we were trying to get into our career field or anybody trying to be a doctor or nurse or whatever. And it's you know, what does America say? If you just work hard and put in the time, you can get to where you want to go. And truly you can in this country, right? We can you can be anything you want to be. I always teach that in classes, like it's up to you how bad you want something. You want to be an astronaut? I'll pull it up.

SPEAKER_00 31:16

Yeah, here you go. Yeah, go do it.

SPEAKER_01 31:18

Now, I don't want to go get a degree in math and join a military, you know, all this other stuff, but it's yours for the taking. But, you know, it seems maybe I'm wrong. So your thought on this, but it does seem like our culture, especially in the fire service, they push that your job is who you are. This is like the golden nugget. Like, you've got to get this career and you got to make this amount of money, and you got to buy a home and you have to have this car, and you gotta have, you know, 3.5 kids or whatever, and a couple dogs, and you know, travel and all these things. And you get there and you do all this stuff, and you think, at least for me, it's like this is the best of the best. I'm doing what I'm supposed to do. But then you're kind of let down. And I say let down because no matter what career field you're in, you're still gonna have the the weird people. You're gonna have the a-hole, you know, you're gonna have the backstabber, you're gonna have the clown, the funny guy who does this, right? Then you're gonna have the weird dudes, you know, who's always just kind of watching from behind a corner and acting funky. Then you're gonna have people that just hate you. Yeah, people that don't like you because you're who you are. And and this is a fact and reality. No matter where you work, even in the fire service, military, police, private industry, they're still racist. There's still people that won't like you because of what you believe, whether you're an atheist or Catholic, Christian, worship Satan, or because of color of the skin, or who you love, or if you're lesbian, homosexual, child, like all that. You're gonna deal with it. And then you get in this job, you're like, all right, I made it, brotherhood. This is gonna be good. You're like, man, a lot of these guys are dicks. And it kind of bums you out, and just like, dude, what the heck? And that that I remember that kind of took a hit, at least for me, in the fire service identity, right? You start learning, like, look, people aren't perfect, it is what it is. But I feel like it's almost a cultural thing where they push, like, you gotta be a hundred percent in. You gotta, this is your whole life. Oh, this is what you gotta be. And I feel like our culture kind of pushes that. And then people struggle when they're off on IOD injury, or they retire. I've talked to a few guys that uh when I first got hired, they were they had like 20 years on, right? And they retired. Some of them are struggling. Yeah, they they don't know what to do with themselves. Yeah, that identity's gone.

SPEAKER_00 33:22

Yeah, it's that identity thing, dude. You didn't build it with your family, and now your kiddos don't want to hang out with you, yeah, and or you don't even know them because you're a FaceTime dad.

SPEAKER_01 33:34

Yeah, that's one thing I I really again I work on is just being present, dude. That's to me that's it's so most important. That's why I asked, like, when you're for you, you the fitness and what you're doing with with um next level dad fitness, for you it's like not only is your physical and mental health, but for you, does it does your faith play into that?

Faith As An Anchor Against Anxiety

SPEAKER_00 33:57

Most definitely, man. Most definitely. And I so I grew up in the faith. I grew up Catholic and went to church. Mom, dad, grandma, uh, everybody was a believer. And that was what was instilled in me. And as I got a little older, I was um just kind of went went my own way when my parents divorced, uh, and didn't started not going to church and started kind of just living for myself and what was good for me and living selfishly and what would bring me happiness and and just pleasure and just selfish things. And it wasn't until uh even a few years on the job that my faith God, I guess, called me. Hey, you need to come back. I was struggling with uh mental health, anxiety, uh not really depression. I don't know if it was depression, but I was really struggling mentally. And it was for me, God calling me back and having panic attacks, not knowing what to do, not even knowing what they were, not having too much pride to ask for help because there's no way I was gonna ask for help 100%. There was no chance I'm gonna ask these people, anybody, to help me. I can do this because that's kind of the culture of being a firefighter. Like, no, I'm not I can do this, I can handle this, but I couldn't. So for me, uh I just started reading the Bible again. And through reading the word, uh everything became so much more clear. I wasn't worried about the future, I wasn't anxious because it broke it down for me. Well, what's anxiety? It is your brain worrying about the past and worrying about the future. And there's a Bible verse Matthew 634, which says, Do not worry about tomorrow, as tomorrow will bring its own worries. Let's go, baby, let's go. And the Bible teaches you so many lessons that are applicable to life, and that's why for me, the next level dad, my family life, my work life, everything is anchored in the word because it is the most powerful thing in my life. It's what I put first, and like you mentioned today, you you get up and you read the word. I do the same thing because it is an anchor. And for anybody who doesn't uh maybe follow that type of routine, I all I can say is just it just clears your mind in a way that nothing else can clear you. If you're going through a struggle, you know, depression, anxiety, whatever it is, the crack open the Bible and God will send you something to read that day. How many times does that happen? You're just struggling, like, dude, I don't know. Oh my gosh, I I just open the Bible and you'll read, I don't know, whatever psalm, a proverb, and it's like, oh, it's right there. And you're like, it's gonna be okay. And so, yeah, to answer your question, it is most definitely intertwined in my whole everything I do.

SPEAKER_01 38:04

Yeah, yeah. Well, it's a it's you you hit it right on the head, my man. Uh, I for myself, yeah, getting back into the word, because I felt like I was more growing up for me, it's just religion. Yeah, right. To me, it's not like I don't believe in religion, which is rituals and practices and all this stuff. And yeah, I'm just not about it because truly is it is a relationship with the Lord. And my the greatest story I always tell people is uh Dismiss who was the thief on the cross. He didn't get baptized, he never went to church, he didn't go to small group, he didn't help out in his community by all you know terms. He's on a cross, so he's probably a pretty bad dude. I mean, if you look at the crucifixion that the the Romans did, they didn't even do it to Romans because it was so bad. Yeah, it was reserved for other people. I mean, it's the worst of the worst of the worst, yeah. The worst of the worst. And he's up there, and it's almost like he had that epiphany finally. And it was his own way of telling Jesus, like, I believe you, like, truly you like you are the son of God. Like, remember me when you go into your kingdom. And Jesus is like, hey, today you beat me in paradise. But that tells me right there, your salvation is instant. It's not about what church you go to, how cool the pastor is, or who how cool the the worship leader is, right? It's truly an acknowledgement and a relationship. And like any relationship, like a relationship at with our work people or our family and our wives, it takes work. Yeah, it takes intentional time to sit there and spend time with somebody. You do that in prayer, you do that with reading. And for me, it was reading the Bible on my own, right? Just I need this to speak to me in my own terms, and that's why I go back to what you said. It's like a lot of these stories I heard as a kid. I know all you know, Noah's Ark and David and all these things, right? And the disciples. But now it every time I read them, even though it's the same thing over and over, for that day, it hits me in a different way. Yeah, it means something different. And that's why when when I hear, and I know that it's the living word of God, it truly is, because it's the same, but dude, it hits you different at different points. And I've said this before on here, but what I love about the Bible is that it doesn't hide the flaws of the people, yeah, it doesn't hide the flaws of the disciples or the stories that are in there. I mean, by all purposes, they're bad people. You put them in today's standards, like they'd be judged hard, right? If not, some in jail. Even Paul, right? Yeah, so that's why I love reading it because it's it's it is like you said, I can my favorite verse is Isaiah 43, too. When you go through deep waters, I'll be with you. And there's just different parts of my life, and even now, I'll remember that verse, and that's my encouragement through the day. Like, I may not be feeling it today, or something out of my control happened, or I made a bad decision, or whatever it is. And I think about that verse, and it immediately is like, I'm gonna be okay. This may not work out the way I want it to, but I'm gonna leave it in the hands of my creator who tells me, just like you said in that verse, like, put it at his feet, give him, let him handle that stress, and it's going to be fine and work out. Like uh, I was gonna have you on here earlier in the podcast, but my dad had a freaking heart attack. And next thing you know, he has an aneurysm, now he has CHF, and all this stuff is going on. I remember, you know, leaving um I I I we do this night of hope. This is our third year doing it, and I do it with Firefires for Christ. I'm a part of our the OC chapter, and um, so we we did the event and I spoke and we had worship. It was great. A bunch of people showed up, and I remember thinking, like, dude, where's my family? Like they said they were gonna be here. And I didn't think about well, speaking, of course, but it was after. And my wife comes up to me, she's like, Hey, let me uh we talk real quick. And everyone's like, hi, great job. We're shaking hands and talking, they were having a good time. She's like, Hey, don't freak out. Um, your dad had a heart attack, he's in the hospital, and it happened the day of that event. And I was like, Okay, and you know, I know I understand the circle of life, right? We your parents will pass away. Actually, all of us are gonna pass away. Yeah, we're yeah, none of us are gonna make it on this earth alive, right? You know, but it's still it's hard, and it's the again, that's something that's out of my control, something that happens to him physically. And he's 85, he's still a very healthy guy. Again, he was a career green beret, so he still gets up and does 50 push-ups, 50 sit-ups. Yes, he does his air squats, dude. He has that flat after it. Yes, totally, I'm like, dude, that was hot in the 60s, bro. It's it's 20 2026. You might want to change that haircut. And he surfs in the morning with his with his old dudes down at the beach, and and then instantly, I mean, life can change in a moment. And we see it in the job, yeah, right? And we handle all the time. And I we do compartmentalize energy. You have to, right? You you don't want to carry, well, we kind of uh unknowingly carry these calls, but um, we have to be that professional. We got to serve people, and we have to be, you know, make sure we're knowing what we're doing and not panicking. But then what happens is your own family. I'm all I remember thinking, like, whoa, what you know, I'm I'm so I stay calm at, you know, when my when my wife told me, I remember thinking, dude, what do I do? Um it's like my heart started racing. I felt it. My dad, like, oh my gosh, I still want him to be here because my son's gonna be born soon. And we still had to pack up and clean up that church and get everything done. So I remember I just stepped to the side and I just prayed. I said, God, please, I gotta leave this in your hands because I still gotta be this event and kind of clean things up. Just take care of them. Please, but no matter what happens, I trust you. And it's almost like those, those prayers that Job prayed, which I love reading because they're so raw and real.

SPEAKER_03 43:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:46

Right? I'm hurting. How could you let this happen? You know, he's just laying it out in his prayer. But at the end of his prayers, I trust you. You're still my God, right? And that's something that stuck out to me. Like, I may not agree with what's happening, and I may think this sucks. And this is not fair, but I trust you. And that has made me grow so much. And now my dad, you know, he's he's better. And that's why the podcast has been not nothing's happened over the past three weeks because taking care of him, making sure he's good. But I was at his house yesterday. He's walking around, he's doing good. He's gonna have to have like an angioplasty here in like a week. And then they want to go in after that and figure out how they're gonna fix his um aneurysm. Because I guess they rate it on like a scale of one to six, his is at a 5.5. Okay. And I'm like, dang, dude, things ready to blow, bro. Uh-oh. Right? So it it's a moment like that where um for me it brings back some pain only because I had a brother who was killed in a car accident in 2004. His name was Luke. And actually, that picture behind you he drew that his 11th grade year in art class. That was like his the last thing. He was big into art that he drew. And I remember after he passed, that teacher came to the house and gave it to us. He was 18. I was 17, it was my senior year in high school. Oh my gosh. We were 10 months apart. Um, so he was barely starting his life in college, and um, and it was hard. I'll never forget seeing my the pain that my parents went through losing a child, and now being a father, I couldn't imagine. Right. And I it it would just blow my mind. But hearing at my dad, it's like remember why I was saying, we don't know what's going on. We I don't know where he's at, what you know, what what's happened. I'm like, okay, is he dead? Is he alive? And it bring kind of triggers that old pain, right? That that's coming back in. But it's so different now, putting my faith first because it's like, even if it hurts, I'm gonna trust you. Yeah, I I don't care what I grow through, like I've lived life without God, and I've lived life with God. And I'd rather live my worst day on earth with him than my best day without him. It's just that's the fact of it. Hands down. Yeah, he's he's gonna, he'll make a way even if it hurts. Even when it hurts, he doesn't waste anything, is what I've noticed. You know, and that's something that was hard for me to deal with for a long time. That you, you know, that anxiety you talked about your past. Because now I look back on my past and there's shame. There's there's a lot of regret there. And there's the shame that not only did I bring on myself, but my family, my parents, even guys at the fire service who knew me. It's like, dude, what are you doing? I'm like, well, I don't care. I'm gonna do what I want, what I want, right? I just gonna have fun and be happy and do my thing. And that's hard, man. That to let go of your your past, but reading the Bible and getting in the word, um, the Lord doesn't take a record of wrongs, right? The best way I description I heard is like when you ask for forgiveness, you ask him in your life. He throws your sins and your past in the lake of um forgiveness, and it says, No fishing allowed. You move forward, you move on. It's not about who you were, what you've done. It's about here and now and where God's gonna take you and putting him first and letting him, and it really truly has honestly, dude, taken a lot of pressure off. Yeah, it's brought, it's kind of like you said, where you read the verse and it just brings this calmness. It has brought peace in my life. I I can't describe to people besides saying you just gotta do it, you gotta trust them. And it's let's be real, our career, we are taught to be in control. Yeah, you have to be in control, and I get it, right? We're running emergency scenes, we got to take care of people, we got to order resources, we have to know how to do rigging and fight fire and put, you know, put the aerial ladder up and all that, right? We're in control, in control, in control. And I think for me, maybe most, a lot of people, it's hard to not be in control. You have to release that, you gotta let that go and give it to him. But it's so, it's like the Bible even says, right? You you gotta lose your life in order to find it. And I had to do that. You know, I had to lay down who I was and be like, this is this is who I am. I remember going through that therapy because I was in a bad place mentally for a long time. Dark, dark place, and I was dabbling and doing shit I never should have been doing. Things that honestly could get me fired at work. There's no like it's like it was bad, and I didn't care. You just hit a point in your life, you're like, honestly, fuck it. Yeah, I what do I have to lose? I don't care. And then you look back now, you're like, dude, that was a really dark time. Like that, I should never should have been there. But going through that therapy and then um doing EMDR and brain spotting and finally raising my hand saying, I'm not good. Something's really wrong here. I I need help. Uh, it was destroying my relationship with my wife, was then my fiance. Um, so it put us through difficult times. And when we started going through that therapy together, you know, it was kind of it was life-changing for me in a way, is like when I not just when I gave my life back to the Lord, but when I went to therapy, I spoke it into existence. Here's where I've been. Here's what I've done, here's my thoughts and what I'm dealing with. And I had to say it in front of her. Let her hear, like, boom, this is what I've done. Here's where I've been. And dude, it was like a release. Like, boom, get this off my shoulders. And to do that and have the person you love the most in there with you, and they're still loving you and supporting you and wanting to be with you. I mean, I think it takes a special woman to be a fireman with a fireman. Yeah. That is work for them, man. Absolutely so speaking that out in existence and having faith at the front. Am I perfect? By no means, dog. Yeah, there's I'm not. I'll be the first one to say, and that's why when I go speak at these places now, they ask me to. I've been speaking more about my faith and even my testimony and working as a fireman. I I still don't feel good enough. And I tell them, I'm like, Are you sure? Like, do you know who I am? Like, I don't feel worthy enough to be on this stage speaking right now, you know. Like, I I don't deserve this, but I still want people to know uh that there's hope. Hope is that I think that the big thing that I think a lot of us will lose. You get numb to everything, right? And it's like when you finally find that true hope and it's Jesus, dude, it just changed my life. It changed everything that that um I do. And it it kind of set me on this new path. And again, that's why I say it's like no matter what happens, I'm gonna trust you. I'm putting my faith in in Christ, that you know, one who died for me, the creator of the universe. And I mean, his promises are true. If he can do it for the people, the heroes of the faith in the Bible, he can do it for us. Yeah, and I pray that a lot. Do it again. What you did for for David, for the disciples, for the woman at the well, all these people, do it again. Don't just do it for me. Do it for Fernando. Do it for the people that are in my firehouse, do it for my family, do it for the people that I interact with. Show up because your your promises are true and you say you will. So that's why, again, the faith and getting better. Like for me, I've really I'm not like I always say this like I'm not a Bible thumber, dude, right? The old school turn or burn, you know, you're going to hell, dude. I'm not that person. I'm not in your face. Yeah, but if you want to talk and you want to talk things out, I'll tell you where I've been, what I've done. But I'm also gonna bring up like this is what changed me. It was finally coming to the to the end of my rope and be like, I can't do this anymore. I gotta, I need something greater than myself. And it truly is when you if you're searching for truth in life, it'll always lead you to the cross. Yeah, there's there's no, I don't care what anybody says. I mean, of any person in the world that's famous or changed the world, Jesus on the cross has the most documentation outside of the Bible. Yeah, you can't deny it. You can't say, oh no, it did happen, it's a fair time. Like, bro, there's like 300 plus manuscripts that aren't even the Bible that said that that happened, it was witnessed, and people were getting healed, and things happened. So I'm like, okay, there's credibility to this.

SPEAKER_00 51:42

Yeah, you know, definitely, man. Uh the Bible has gotten so much scrutiny and it's with stood the test of time. So yeah, you you touched on a lot there, man. Definitely, uh a lot of guys would not look at me uh and say, like, oh, this guy is the the the Bible thumper. Most definitely not, you know, especially with with the past that I've had, maybe similar to yours. Um, and I just like the future that I am building. And like you said, God doesn't pick the perfect person, He picks the one who He is preparing and the imperfect one, the one that people can relate to. If you lived a perfect life, if you don't have any uh maybe I don't know, skeletons in the closet, and you're like, maybe not so proud of that. Oh gosh, I did that, yeah, then you can't really relate with people if you just are perfect, and no one's really gonna trust you. But when you put it out there and when you do become vulnerable and you say, Yeah, I messed up here, here, and here, I hurt this person, this person, and I'm moving forward from that. I hurt people I love, I betrayed. Gosh, it's just uh ugly, ugly thing. But the beautiful thing is that Christ forgives. And in my home, uh we do three things. We pray, we worship, and we read the scripture. Pray, have a conversation with God, worshiping him, putting him in his rightful place on the throne, and uh reading the scripture together, which is uh proclaiming the scripture as truth. And that's what I try to teach my kiddos. Dad was not perfect, but God is working within, he's inside of me, he's inside of you, and he loves you, and even somebody as imperfect as me, you can take the steps forward to improve your life and to help others and to serve humanity. So that's one big thing that you know we try to do, my wife and I in our

Therapy, Vulnerability, And Hope

SPEAKER_00 54:20

in our home, and also with the mental health stuff, there's so many avenues now that we can go go down, and you don't have to carry this stuff if you don't want to, if you're not a believer, if you feel like maybe I just want to reach out to these resources, there's plenty of resources, and they are so helpful, right? We we have, I think what you guys uh you said you have in in your department, what's it called?

SPEAKER_01 54:50

Uh counseling team, counseling team international. So we have counseling team international, and it's you just call a number, yeah, and not even probably 30 minutes later, someone's contacting you, and then boom, it's like you have unlimited sessions. Yeah. For you, for your wife, like it's it's pretty dope.

SPEAKER_00 55:06

Yeah, so we're just getting that in our department, and it's an awesome thing because we're proactively moving moving forward. Before we had, uh, I think that LA County has some person, one lady or like a like a team of three or four people uh handling a lot of firefighters, but now we're going to this counseling team international, and the benefits were explained to us, I think, last week or two weeks ago. Man, it is an awesome, awesome program. So that you can reach out and feel good because that's like we said, we want to feel good physically. That's one thing. Mentally is a whole other ball game. Yeah, you might be lifting, working out, getting your runs in, whatever you do, weightlifting. But if you aren't good mentally, dude, it it sucks. 100%.

SPEAKER_01 56:04

If I'm not if I'm if I'm out there mentally or I'm just for some reason having an off day uh or even just feeling kind of depressed, I I don't work out. Yeah, I'm just like, no, I'm not gonna do it.

SPEAKER_00 56:15

So it's a combination. And for me, the spirituality is the third component, but maybe it's not for everybody. And hey, all power to you right on. But the mental and the physical most definitely need to come together so that you can show up as your best. Because drinking yourself to sleep, like I did for a while, because I just thought, like, I cannot go to sleep. The only way I can go to sleep is to drink, to be buzzed, and then fall asleep. That's not a way to live. There's no, there's no winning in that.

SPEAKER_01 56:53

No, dude, bro. I used to smoke so much freaking weed. Uh I mean, dude, functioning freaking pothead, bro. Big that was one of the hardest things for me to stop. Yeah, like it was it was very difficult because that was the same, right? I wouldn't drink as much, but like, oh, just freaking smoke some weed and go to sleep. Yeah, you know, it's like, okay, so now I'm relying on this for rest. Yeah, it's not good, not good at all, dude.

SPEAKER_00 57:13

It's external. You're now relying on something external that will not help you, it just won't. And you know, for people who want to go down that route, hey man, like I said, more power to you, but there's nothing like going to sleep at night without having to rely on alcohol, weed, other drugs, just to sleep, man. That's a bad spot, dude. And I know a lot of people are in that spot right now. People we know, they're there, and they just don't want to reach out because of whatever reason. They they don't want to look weak, they don't want to look like they can't handle this because that was me. I didn't want to look weak. This dude lifting weights, strong football player, all this. I can handle this, but I couldn't. I just didn't want to reach out. And you you had the avenues, and dude, that's that's the the way to go. I just didn't. I just found the word.

SPEAKER_01 58:16

Yeah, I mean that I truly, I I it's like with anything, I I would say, even you know, if you're getting starting a podcast or you want to go into a different career, or you're not doing well and you want to get better. The hardest part is starting. It's always the hardest part is reaching, like taking that step and making the bold move of saying, okay, I'm gonna do this. I need help, right? I need to raise my hand. But that is kind of a that is like an image, I would say, not just in our culture and first responders, but I think everywhere for men, yeah, right? Be hard, be tough, don't be weak, right? So don't be a pussy. It's like uh you guys, we're also human beings, yes, and we can only take so much and see so much, and you know, the those processes in our body to to process stress, it's okay to get angry. Now don't go beat somebody up, but like the anger or the doubt, or even when you get emotional and want to cry, like that's proper. That's your body releasing that stress. Why are you denying yourself that? And that's something I learned going through therapy, yeah. Right? It's okay to cry. I'm like, is it okay? You ready for some sad shit? Right? But my gosh, it's it's actually very, very healthy for you. So I just it bothers me with that whole, you know, be a man. It's okay. Look, yes, I'm gonna handle business, but also brother, we're human beings. Yeah, you we need to figure out how to process all these things, you know, and and get better. So it's I love what you're doing, dude. You also have a podcast. Yeah, what's the name of that podcast, baby?

SPEAKER_00 59:50

Same next level dad fitness. Let's go. When'd you start that? Started it this year uh in January, and I always wanted to do a podcast. I always wanted to be on them because I always listen to them. I've been listening to Rogan since COVID. And so I was listening to podcasts. I'm like, whoa, this is cool, man. This is I'm gonna start my own. But then I had a lot of self-limiting beliefs. I didn't think that I was the type of person that could get on and talk because I didn't think I had anything interesting to talk about. I didn't believe that anybody wanted to hear anything from me. I had a kind of mentality like, hey, put your head down, just go to work and just be quiet. And there's there's something, I guess, noble to that. Just you know, keep your head down and work. But there's also avenues that you can help people, you can reach a lot of people and help them with their struggles because you're relating to them. And that's one of the things that finally tipped a scale to start my own. Like, I have things that I can help people with. I have stories, I have life, right? 40 years of life on earth. But I'm not 1920, haven't you know gone through anything, seen anything. I've gone through a lot of ups and downs, trials and tribulations that if this can help one person, then it's making a difference. It's serving humanity, maybe in a different avenue through a different route. And so I finally decided I'm gonna do it. And yeah, it's been you know 14 episodes, and now I'm here. I love it. Oh my goodness, like this is a dream. I'm podcasting, I'm just living an absolute dream, helping people, talking. I love it.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:55

That's awesome. So, your podcast, do you do one show a week, one a month? What's like kind of what it what's what's it talking about on there?

SPEAKER_00 1:02:03

Yeah, so I was aiming for one a week, but just work and then also with the coaching and family and content, because I do put some content out on social media, just like fitness. Okay, I watch, I watch fitness content. So it's more of a once every two weeks. It's kind of turned into once every two weeks. Um, I started expanding, started getting some guests, uh, getting on uh as a guest on other podcasts like today. So it's it's in its infancy, but I see what you got going. I'm like, this is so cool. And I'm just getting started. And you said, oh, I'm just getting started too. So it's like, yes, growth. Yeah, growth. I just I love it, man.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:53

So oh dude, it's if if you listen, if you listen to our earlier episodes, I have my co-host Jordan, who sits right here with me, but he got forced today. Oh, okay. So sorry, bro, you're not gonna be here. It is what it is, yeah. But when we started in 20 uh end of 2018, early 2019, yeah, dude, we were on a plastic table in my living room. Yeah, we just had microphones and we just sit there and just talk. Yeah, right. I'm like, well, let's just do it. What do we have to lose? Let's see how it works out. And then as it's like anything, the more you do it, the more you grow. Uh, we used to drink a lot on those first first uh I would say first 60 episodes, and we learned like, hey, we should probably stop drinking because, dude, I'm slurring words and like I can't try to turn to turn things off.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:38

I'm like, I can't get it, we're done here.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:39

Yeah, um, but it grew and then it turned into you know what one of my extra bedrooms. We turned that into a little studio, and you can you can it's almost like when you watch it and listen to it, you just see the progression over time, yeah, right to the point now it's like now we have all these nice cameras and and sound equipment and this is legit cool stuff, yeah. And this the studio and the lighting. And now I'll tell you, I've built all this on my my own, which was like a lot of YouTube and learning, but it doesn't have to be perfect. And I always tell people that because I get I get emailed or asked a lot, hey, I want to start a podcast. Cool. Here's what you have to do. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. That's a lot of work. Uh yeah, uh everything is a lot of work, of course. You know, so it but I tell them because they're we're so worried about everything being perfect, yeah. Right? It's gotta be like this, we gotta do that. No, just start. Yeah, just get a microphone and sit on your couch. You can even use your your iPhone. The iPhone records just as good as these cameras, yeah, right? 4K, 60, 30 frames a minute, whatever. Get a stand for it and start and practice. Just go for it. Just go for it. What do you have to lose? What do you that's what I always say? What do you have to lose? Right. And there's some people that I know. I've had some some actors that I know, and like, you know, their social media is a really big deal, right? Everybody has to have an Instagram now. It's weird if you don't, but they're like, well, you got to post, you know, every day at this time, and then you gotta, you know, make a post at this evening, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, I don't care. Yeah, right. Instagram and social media, it's like if you have a lot of followers, it's like being Richard Monopoly, doesn't mean anything. Yeah, right. Like, it's cool, you may get a lot of likes and a lot of views. Um, but I do use it as a tool just for this because if the podcast wasn't here, I probably wouldn't even have social media anymore. I just don't care, right? So for me, I'm like, you know what? I'm not gonna stress out about this anymore because I used to. Okay, we got to record at this time, we got to release one every Wednesday. This is what they say for the algorithm. We got to post like this. And just as things have changed, and now I have a family and everything, like, okay, I was spending a lot of time on social media just trying to put posts up and get more followers and this and that. Now I'm like, look, you want to listen, listen. If you don't, don't, I really don't care, right? It's not for everybody. Yeah, I'm gonna do my best at this and put up nice clips, but I probably put like one or two up a week, and that's it. I post and ghost. Yeah, right? Post, leave it, I'm out of here. I got other things to do. I want to spend Time, my family, and do my thing. But I I am stoked for you because you never know what can happen. You don't know, like the the relationships I've built because of this podcast and the connections that I've made have been huge in my life now. Yeah, some really great people have come on and now referred me to other. We got a few other um, I don't want to say their names, but uh pro athletes now that are going to start coming on because I've had that retired uh NFL player that came on, Justin Cheadle. Yeah. Now they're hitting

Starting A Podcast Without Perfection

SPEAKER_01 1:06:28

me up, like, whoa, like these guys are kind of like way more important than I am. I mean, like, you sure you want to come on here and do a nobody, bro? Cool, man. Yeah, so like you just you don't know what it can lead to. Because everyone's like, what if I fail? And my thought is on anything that you want to pursue, um, especially us in the fire service, right? It gives us time. We have time to kind of start a business or do other things we want. A lot of people are afraid to fail. But my thought is, but what if you succeed?

SPEAKER_03 1:06:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:54

I mean, okay, maybe you do it for a couple years and it doesn't work out, but you don't know the people you're going to impact and also the connections you're gonna make, that could lead you into something else that could be even better than your podcast. Yeah, you have no idea. I could I mean, I'll share it now, but I got hit up to uh start doing this road show. I was like, hey, why don't you we we want to pitch this this idea, we want to do it. Um, someone, one of your friends that was on your podcast, whatever we hear your fireman, you got we listen to your podcast, we think you would do really great just chatting with people. I was like, seriously? I even told him, like, I have no idea what I'm doing. Yeah, I was like, I just do it. I like talking to people, I can speak to anybody. So that's kind of like in its own little infancy and development. But again, you just don't know what it can lead to. That's why I get super excited when people are starting a podcast or business or writing music or doing other things that they um their talents that they have, or um a calling or a desire. I'm like, dude, do it. Don't worry about being perfect, just start. It's just like any, right? You need help, start. Raise your hand, say, I need help. There's nothing wrong with that. Because it's gonna change your life. It's gonna, it's something better will come from it. Now, there's struggles um that I've had with this podcast to get things done 100%. There were times that we were filming and the cameras just shut off, right? Or the sound equipment would go out, or I didn't have a right chord plugged in and we're recording, we can hear ourselves, but none of the sound's being recorded. Yeah, right. And you get halfway through. Yeah, the the well, this happened. We had a guest on and they we did the whole show, everything went good, and we had the video, video is doing good, and that they left the next day. I get up, I'm loading everything up to edit it and do it. No sound. Oh, and I'm just like, oh no, dude. And I gotta tell that person, like, hey, I'm sorry, I suck. Um, can you come back for a round two? We'll get this figured out.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:48

Let's have the same conversation.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:50

Yeah. So all I have to say, like, dude, I love it. I please keep going. You just don't know what can happen from it, man. You you you really don't. And people will listen. It takes time to grow an audience. I mean, it took us uh, I want to say like two and a half or three years before we started monetizing because you gotta like qualify or whatever. Yeah. If I remember, I think it's like I think it's like a minimum of a thousand downloads a month, I think. Okay. Um, but then like I remember going to our host's website and we use Buzz Sprout and it popped up. It's hey, congratulations. You know, you can now monetize. And then all these things hit came up. Like, which ad do you want to put in? You know, do you want a pre-roll, post-roll? In the middle, I'm like, oh wow, okay, that's cool. Now it's not big money, yeah, right? It's like, I don't know, 15 cents a download, right? So to get to where a lot of these big podcasts are like, you gotta you gotta build a strong following, get a lot of downloads, dude. And you can get sponsorships or anything out of it. But my all I want all that to say again is dude, just keep doing it. You you just never know, man. You never know. Reach out, don't be afraid to reach out to people. That's what I did. I would just start going on social media and friends of friends, and they someone looks cool, firemen, or they're surfers, or they're a sky. Message them, hey, you want to come on a podcast? Yeah, most of the time, it's like, sure. I think that's what I did here with you. Actually, yeah, it's exactly what I did. Yeah, you did. Yeah, I remember that, dude. Because I was trying to think about wait a minute, how did I meet this guy? I know he did exactly what you said.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:22

Yeah, you reached out, dude. That's right.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:23

I saw the message. Now, some of the messages we get, I just delete instantly because it's it's pretty wild, right? People, yeah, social media is interesting. Yeah, but yeah, so it now it's come to a point where like we're kind of pushing and turning people away, which to me is, I think, a good problem. Yeah, um, but dude, keep going with the podcast. I I love it. That's why we'll do a you know, once we start posting stuff, we're definitely gonna do a collaboration and push that, push it, push it big time. Yeah, so by the way, your mustache, how long you had that dog? Since I was 12 years old, Mexican.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:57

Are you Mexican? Yeah, I was gonna ask what your nationality is.

Fire Service Origin Story And Career

SPEAKER_00 1:11:00

Yeah, so uh parents born in Mexico, they came here uh in 90-ish or 86, whenever I came up. So you're first generation? I'm first generation, yeah. Whoa first generation, love it, dude. Yeah, in the South Bay grew up and then bounced around a little bit after high school. Parents got divorced, but yeah, mostly uh South Bay, LA area.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:24

You're first generation, you didn't have any relative in the fire service. No, not what in the what got you into this career then?

SPEAKER_00 1:11:31

So my dad's a gardener, still has a gardening business, and he had a client who lived in PV, he was a fireman for LA City, and he did his he would mow his lawn uh for years, and the the fireman was finally like, hey dude, your your son's getting kind of old because I would go and help and stuff, and and he's like, Hey, do you want to come to the station and do a little ride-along? I was like, Yeah. So we set that up and you know, now here I am. That's so rad. So you did a ride-along at LAC.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:05

Well, I mean, that's a great place to be introduced to fire service, they're busy as heck, so yeah. Do you still talk to that guy?

SPEAKER_00 1:12:10

Uh yeah, he retired. He was older when I was in the process, but uh yeah, I haven't talked to him in a few years. But yeah, I was just mowing his lawn for years and years and uh in the summers, and and my dad was like, Hey, get my my son, I'll link you guys up, and yeah, that's kind of how it started.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:30

So and so you've been on, I think you said how many years do you have at where you're currently at? 14. Okay, and now you are an engineer.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:40

I am an engineer paramedic and been driving for four and a half years.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:45

Oh my man.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:46

Best spot in the fire service, dude. That's pretty awesome.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:48

I'm an engineer as well. I love it. Yeah, I still have my paramedic license, yeah. Um, but it's hard to want to promote because middle management's beautiful, dude.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:57

It is awesome. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:59

Get to work, do my checkout in the truck, got air in the tires, water in the tank, oil in the engine. Where am I going? Where's my water supplier? Or what building am I gonna freaking spot? What are we doing, guys? Yeah, right? The the firefighters bitch up at you. Oh, the captain's right.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:14

Captain's uh, oh the fireman's and you're just like, I don't know, guys, figure it out, dude.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:19

No paperwork at the end of the day, yeah, all of the computer stuff at the end of the day. Yeah, it's pretty nice, man.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:26

Well, you work with a lot of uh guys I've kind of come through the fire service with, like uh Brian Sew is one of them. Yeah, dude, super. I thought uh it's funny because that's why I asked your your ethnicity. Because I'm like, are you related to Brian Sewers? He's a I think he's about Pacific Islander or something like that.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:42

Yeah, he's a Simone. Jeez, dude. Yeah, yeah. He's a good dude. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:48

Are you guys on the same rig or no?

SPEAKER_00 1:13:50

No, he is right now in an admin smile. Okay, yeah, he's a paper pusher, yeah. Currently, but must be nice, Brian, to have weekends off, dude. Do they still get forced? Drive home car. Oh yeah, the whole thing, even though his drive, I think, is like two hours to and from. So maybe not this, but yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:11

That's a dude. That's a lot during the week.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:13

It is a lot, especially LA. Oh, yeah. Well, I'm out, dude. There's the west side. We're not just not just anywhere. This is the west side 405 freeway.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:23

I think no, I no matter what time of day I've gone up through there in the 405 like 10 area, yeah. It there's always traffic.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:31

No matter what.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:32

No, no matter what what freaking time of day. That's why anytime I go into LA or when I teach or do stuff, like I took a class last month at LA County's training center up there by Magic Mountain. I can't remember the name. Castec, yeah. You get off like Magic Mountain Parkway, where I was taking my motorcycle. Yeah. Because I would get up in the morning, it would tell me it was gonna be two and a half hours to get there. And it's a 40-hour class, right? So it's Monday through Friday. And I was like, nah, this ain't happening, dude. I'm taking a motorcycle 45 minutes.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:00

Yeah, well, that's where I live.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:02

Oh, up there, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:04

That's right. 10 minutes from the uh it's called Del Val. Yeah, yeah. How long have you live? How long have you lived up there? Since 2014, I bought my first place. My wife and I, we bought our first little townhome there. And 2014, Santa Clarita, I mean LA County in general was just cheaper, but Santa Clarita in 2014 was dirt cheap.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:26

Way cheap. I I was out there with the forest service in 2004 through 2006. Okay, and I remember when all that was being built and guys were but dude, the homes were hella cheap, dude. Yeah, especially in that time, dude. I remember thinking, like, I'll never live out here. And then you go out, I go out there now, I have friends that live out there, and of course, taking classes and stuff, but it's built up, it's nice, and it's expensive now, dude. Oh, yeah, yeah. I think everywhere's expensive, everywhere.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:48

No, it's what you're gonna do is is expensive, doesn't matter where you are, it's a million bucks.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:54

Oh, everywhere, minimum, everywhere, and it's a fixer, yeah. It's nothing nice, dude.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:59

Yeah, so we're lucky that we, you know, we bought our first place and then sold that and got a the home that we're in now in 2017. And yeah, that's where we've been. You know, I'm blessed to live there with our my wife and our three daughters, and it's a beautiful thing.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:15

Oh, it is a beautiful thing. Your department where you're um where you currently work, um are you guys all firefighter paramedics or do you still have BLS firefighter EMT spots, BLS spots?

SPEAKER_00 1:16:27

Yes, we do have EMT firefighters. There was a point where uh we were heavy on the paramedic side, mostly, you know, there was a a large percentage of us as you rarely hear that, dude. Yeah, but that's that's not the case anymore. Yeah, we're it's just because you know, there the the candidates that come in are uh just emt and then most of them are going to like other spots, the county, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:57

Bigger departments, right? Bigger departments. I mean where I came from, Garden Grove, uh I miss it. Seven stations, great department, great, great uh personnel. But I do think the day of the small fire department is falling away. Yeah, slowly but surely it's getting chipped away in consolidation. I think is definitely the way of the future. Yeah, definitely the way of the future, which good, bad, indifferent, whatever. Um, but from being in a small department to now being a large, there's there's good and bad things, I think, to both. You know, definitely a lot more opportunity where we're at, right? Yeah, you know, you're not testing to be a captain with freaking 16 other people and there's one spot. One spot, yeah. Yeah, they're just constantly putting on tests, you know, every every uh year. But there's something about the small department that I appreciate a lot. You you know everybody, that's good and bad in itself as well. Yeah, yeah, but you know it's on the rig. Um, it's just different. There's there's there's certain things that I miss about it, but you know, it is what it is, man. Yeah. What do you what are you gonna do?

SPEAKER_00 1:17:54

Yeah, yeah. And as far as the cons the consolidation, I think the west side cities will be the last ones to go just because we're just lucky it's the west side.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:06

You have oh, you guys are funded, yeah. Yeah, you know, you ain't gonna have uh, I don't think you'll have a problem with financially with those cities, dude.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:13

Yeah, so there's maybe some eastern LA County areas that aren't uh you know doing so well, but it's the west side, and we're so lucky, we're so blessed to be in that location.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:26

What um because we're

Paramedic School And C-Section Shock

SPEAKER_01 1:18:28

getting closer. Well, we went over on time, but it was a good conversation. I like it. What uh when did you become a paramedic? Did you do that before you got hired or when why after you got hired?

SPEAKER_00 1:18:37

Yeah. So I became a paramedic in 2011, the year before I got on full-time. So I was with uh Compton as a AO or ambulance operator. Uh basically as an in-house EMT work a full-time fire department schedule. And then I was I went part-time there to go to paramedic school. Uh, went back to Compton to do my field internship. I was a reserve firefighter in Compton. So I spent basically five entire years in Compton. Dude, they didn't they didn't pick you up? Yeah, well, you know, it was it was during the time of the financial crisis. Oh departments just weren't hiring. And it was a struggle, man. It was from 07 to 12. That's when I was there, and that's when all of the financial um crisis was was happening, so it just kind of worked out the way it did. But yeah, I I got I went to paramedic school and then literally six months later got picked up. That worked out really well. Yeah, I mean, where you're at ain't bad, dog. Yeah, it's a beautiful place, man.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:53

Ah, yeah, it's a very beautiful place, dude.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:56

I would tell you this. I got forced to go to paramedic school. Um, and I did not enjoy it. Oh, yeah. I didn't enjoy it either. Yeah, I was not having a good it's I I think um, so I got I got my bachelor's and master's, it's it's work, but it's different, right? It's very controlled. You can kind of kind of take your time. Whereas when you go to paramedic school, it's like bang, bang, bang, bang, this block, that block. And now we're gonna go here, and you better get it 80% or better, or you're done, right? Maybe one retake or something like that. Then you got to go into the hospital and start IVs and know your drugs, and then where the rubber meets the road is going into your internship. Yeah, right. And that's stressful as heck. Did you do your internship? Uh you said with Compton? Yeah, I did. Okay, yeah. And then, dude, the one thing I remember the most, and I actually talked to a few guys who just got out of primary school, and they don't do it anymore. They don't send them to labor and delivery anymore. Oh, I you remember, I think I did two, I think I did one 12-hour shift in labor and delivery. You had to. Yeah, so I guess they don't do that anymore. And I will never forget this, Renando. I showed up and it was a 12-hour shift. Get there at 7 a.m. And it was my buddy JD. We were both assigned there for that day, and we're putting on our scrubs, and they go, hey, we got an emergency C section. Right when I show up, I'm like, Oh, cool. Are you ready for this? You can you you want to be in there? I'm like, Yeah. My head, like ego, right? I'm a fireman. Dude, I can do anything. I've seen it all, right? Yeah, brother. We get in there, okay? I'm standing there and I was shooketh at how aggressive and like they make that cut and then they stretch the skin up and they get in, dude. They just pull it all out. Oh my good dude, when they pulled all her intestines out and they just slapped it like kind of right here in her chest, and it was tarp. I fell to my knees. Yeah, I got weak, dude. Yeah, I just sweating, dude.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:46

I'm like, why is it so hot here? The doctor's like, get them out of here.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:49

Yeah, that was uh that was eye-opening for me. And then I think I had like four deliveries, other other deliveries I did that day, uh assisted with. And I remember getting in my truck and driving home, dude. I didn't turn any music on, nothing. I was just like, Women are so powerful. Like, what is life? This is crazy, dude. They just stuff it all in. Oh man, dude. And then the ladies behind that, she's like, it's it's so beautiful. I'm like, you don't even know, man.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:15

They have them covered by yes, she can't even see.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:18

Dude, it was wild, wild, man. That's why when my daughter uh was being born, she wasn't C-section, and uh my wife was like, You gonna watch? I'm like, no, yeah, I'm I'm good. I've I've delivered like four kids in the field. I I I know what happens, there's a lot going on, you know. And I told her, I was like, I also want to keep affection for downstairs, so I'm just not gonna things change down there when you're watching, man.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:39

You know, it's yeah, definitely, man.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:40

Like it's so crazy, dude. It is.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:42

Um, but dude, thank you so much for coming on the podcast, man.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:46

Thank you for having me, man. Yeah, I really appreciate it.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:48

And we always do this, at least to do it in the earlier years, now we're doing it again.

Quick Questions And Closing Plugs

SPEAKER_01 1:22:51

But just to end on a little bit of fun here, I got some uh questions for you. It's called answer the internet. All right, okay, nothing inappropriate. I always throw those ones to the side. Okay, so you'll answer first, and then I'll tell you my answer. Okay, so the first one. Okay, if you could only watch one actor's movies for the rest of your life, who would it be? One actor, their movies for the rest of your life, who would it be?

SPEAKER_00 1:23:22

What am I gonna be my favorite movies of all time? Maybe my favorite is Ace Ventura. So I would say Jim Carrey. Jim Carrey.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:56

Camera shut off. Yeah, you should be good now, dude. Go back over here, let's see. Yeah, okay, we're good. Sorry about that, everybody. Okay, so you said your favorite actor would be Jim Carrey movies. Yeah. What's your favorite Jim Carrey movie?

SPEAKER_00 1:24:12

Ace Winter, a pet detective.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:14

Oh, dude, that dude. My favorite scene in there, this is so diabolical. When he's coming out of the uh the rhino.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:27

Yeah, so many good, so many good clips in that movie.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:31

Yeah, so freaking wild, dude.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:34

Okay, so mine would be um uh my man, you see him back here, Nicolas Cage. Yeah, he's I I think he's uh a madman, and I love everything that he does. And uh he's he even has his own crypt ready in Louisiana, it's a pyramid. Oh, really? Yeah, I love I love how just wild this guy is. So that's that's why I I just dig the guy. Like I told you, I have his carpet from his house in here. Yeah, okay. So second question If your TV remote didn't work and you were sick and couldn't get up all day, what channel would you put on uh for the entire day?

SPEAKER_00 1:25:19

I would say gosh, it used to be ESPN because I used to watch sports, but now that I have kids, honestly, I cannot get one uh episode of anything in. There's Bluey, there's this show called Nastia, there's um Disney movies, but if I had to, I would say just ESPN. I love it, dude.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:46

Um, for me, it's History Channel, History Mysteries, dude. Oh, yes, history's mysteries. I love it, dude. I could sit there and watch that all day, dude.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:55

Yeah, you know what? I'll change my answer to History Channel.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:00

I love history channel all day, and then like when the guy with the crazy hair, the ancient aliens comes on, I'm like, oh, it's gonna be a good night, dude. He's just a wacko. Yes. Okay, your last one. Um, we're gonna wrap this up. Okay, if you had to pick one person to be the ambassador for the human race to meet aliens, who would it be? One person to be the ambassador to meet aliens, who would it be?

SPEAKER_00 1:26:30

I think Elon already is out there in Mars.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:35

That's a good choice, actually.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:36

Yeah, I would say Elon. Yeah, he would know what to do. I don't know what I don't know anybody else that has the brain capacity to really understand.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:46

Very intelligent man. I think I think also what I've noticed about him, he he seems like he doesn't make decisions from emotions ever. Like you could call him all the names and uh tell him he's a bad person, blah, blah, blah, and people can hate on him online. I've you I don't think I've really ever seen him very emotional. Yeah, which I like. So I kind of agree with that. Um, I would say, yeah, Elon Musk. I'll say my second choice initially. Um, I really think Joe Rogan would do well. Yeah, yeah. That's who I think, dude. He's I love how he's just like he he he always asks the right questions. Yeah, right. That's why I think he seems to be very level-headed, in my opinion.

SPEAKER_00 1:27:28

He seems like a regular dude, but he's like a super genius. Yeah. But he's a regular dude. Yeah. And that's I think his gift.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:37

I that's he's to me, it seems relatable, right? Yeah, it's freaking awesome. But dude, Fernando, thank you so much for for taking the time to be here on the podcast. This is almost like an hour and 30 minutes, which I freaking I love so much. Thank you for your honesty, dude. Your podcast, what is the plug? Uh, so people can follow it on Instagram.

SPEAKER_00 1:27:55

Next level dad fitness on Insta, TikTok, and on YouTube. YouTube and Spotify.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:01

I love it. And then if somebody wants to, am I saying this right? Uh work with you or get a program, what do you uh how do they get in contact with you?

SPEAKER_00 1:28:09

Just go to my Instagram, link in the bio. Just right there.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:13

Dude, like, share, subscribe. Yeah. I freaking love it, dude. Um, you got your challenge coin and your gifts. I did, man. Um, dude, let's do what we usually do is a let's go on three to end this up. You ready? Yeah. Let's do it. One, two, three. Let's go. Bye, everybody.